


Naked

by 0pposing



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Daddy Issues, Diary/Journal, F/M, Intimacy, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Mental Health Issues, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, School, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Kissing, teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0pposing/pseuds/0pposing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear diary: I can't get you out of my head. Day in and day out, you're stuck in my conscious, whether I'm aware of it or not. I let you float around in the back of head. I plan my schedule around you; my day, my work, my life. I want you to love me. You are all that matters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Naked

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry for posting two Student/Teacher relationship fanfics in a row but I'm kind of in an obsession with him at the moment (still). This isn't really the place for it but I do take into consideration that it is fiction and I am a fan of my teacher, haha. FYI: I don't do well on Wattpad.

You were a slave of society, subjected to the worst of the human race on a daily basis and I always wondered how you did it. How you put up with the incessant talking and the paper airplanes, the attitude.  
The teenage race is a horrendous thing and is beyond my comprehension even as I may be apart of it.  
You had your sleepless nights, infants keeping you up at the crack of dawn. A screaming spouse and tiny yapping dogs shrouded your house and the bags under your eyes were a dead giveaway.

 **October 20th 2014  
** Sometimes I saw small scratches; bruises on the bridge of your nose or the center of your forehead. I always asked how your day was and sometimes I would pat you reassuringly on the shoulder and comfort you with a slight brush of my hand as you held the door open for me.

You returned these notions in the hallways, passing by me, you ranking at 6 feet and me barely ranking at 5'2. Your lumbering form towering over me as you would brush my fingers with yours as we swept past each other.

Nobody ever noticed anything and if they did, they said nothing. I would purposely wait by the bathroom outside of your classroom just in case you stepped outside and you usually did. You'd do your little side glance and I would just stare at you as you passed.

 **January 16, 2015**  
I just got off winter break today and it was freezing when I stepped outside. But it was almost as if the cold had no effect on me. All I thought about was getting to you, seeing you, talking to you and you making that little dimpley smile when I talked to you. I felt butterflies when I walked inside, shivering and pushing my hood off of my head. "Good afternoon." I said to you as I smiled and sat in my seat in front of your desk. I remember you returning the greeting and asking how my winter was. You payed attention intently, listening to every word I spewed out, detailing every gift I got for Christmas, my first alcohol beverage at 16 of which I got drunk off. You shook your head at that and laughed at me. You said "You're not supposed to say that to a teacher." I replied back. "You're my friend too." After that, you didn't say anything and I had wondered what I did wrong.

 **March 2nd, 2015**  
You kissed me today. I keep crying because I remember what you smell like, what you taste like. I remember the layer of chapstick on your lips, the way your tongue swept back and forth in mine. Your hands were rough and clutched my lower back, pulling me closer to you and pressing my middle against your growing arousal. I made embarrassing little sounds and you smiled into my lips and pressed me harder, moving your lips to my neck and sucking the bare skin there.  
Our moment was ruined by someone walking up the ramps, their footsteps dramatically pounding on the outside. I pushed you away and pretended to look at some papers on your desk. You were calmer than I was, smiling at the girl who walked in first to class. I could feel my cheeks getting redder and redder and I could feel how damp I had become. I breathed heavily and marched out, leaving you behind and leaving myself to my thoughts.  
  
**May 26th, 2015**  
Today was my last day of school for my junior year. Finals were still going on, so I spent two hours in your class playing Hangman on the board with my classmates. I wrote you a letter of appreciation and I was so nervous to give it to you. All of my friends pushed and urged me to but I was scared you would reject it, or worse, read it while I was still in the room. Eventually at the end of the class period, I walked up to you while the bell was ringing and handed the card to you and just like I guessed, you started to open it.   
  
"Wait till I'm out of class please." I laughed nervously.  
  
"Why?" you asked. "Confessing your love to me?"  
  
I coughed at that and shook my head. "You wish. I drew a really shitty Seahawks picture and I would like for you to laugh at me _after_ I leave." You nodded at this and I turned around and left, my eyes starting to water. Now all I had to do was survive the summer wondering what you thought about my gooey lovey card.  
  
**June 2nd, 2015  
** Today is my birthday and you remembered! You shot me a text at 8:36am. " _Happy Birthday Chels! Miss you_." I replied, " _Thank you. I miss you too_."

 **July 2nd, 2015**  
It's been almost 2 months since I've seen you and it hurts. I miss you terribly but I try not to think of you. You come to me in my dreams sometimes and the morning after I am always immediately excited to go back to school. But I forget that there is a possibility you will not even be there.

This saddens me more but I don't give up all my hope. I still have your phone number embedded into my phone and sometimes my fingers hover over the touch screen keyboard, my brain debating with my heart. My brain always wins and I always slide my phone back where it came from and once again you're wiped from my mind for what seems like a year but has only been a meager day.

 **July 10th, 2015**  
I think I saw you and your family in the grocery store. You were in the produce section, bagging artichokes as your wife wrestled the toddler into the front of the cart. I recall shooting my hand up for a split second, and then slithering it back down to my side. My words were better left unsaid. I hid behind an island of store brand twinkies and watched you as you struggled to contain your temper. The bruises are back, I thought to myself and my blood boiled; my hatred for her only grew.

You started to push the cart in my direction, your wife wandering into another aisle. I panicked, stood up from my crouching position, and back pedaled my tracks.

But I heard your voice. I heard it softly calling out to me as I felt you stare into the back of my head. It was like someone holding a magnifying glass to my head; as if I was an ant under scrutinization or the play toy of a child.

I could not hold the cascade of diamonds that started to break my lidded boundaries and I sucked in my pride and I turned around. I smiled.

"Hi!" I said, cheerily. I placed one foot over the other and crossed my hands behind my back.

"Hi." You said, your voice barely audible above a whisper. "What.. What are you doing here?"

I looked around the abundance of produce, meat, and dairy and shrugged. "Oh, just shopping for medieval armor and accessories." I pushed your shoulder and mocked you. "It's a grocery store, Pet-," I bit my lip. "Mr. B. Sorry."

You nodded your head, and your cheeks flushed a bright red, accentuating the fucking ocean you had in your eyes. I remember feeling my body tremble and I had felt like I couldn't move. Frozen in place. My legs stuck to the floor like a little green army man.

 **July 13th, 2015  
** I can't get you out of my head and it sucks. I can't get your body, your face, your smile with the dimples.. I can't get anything out of my head. I loved that you started parting your hair down the middle again, you kind of look like Hugh Grant meets Brendan Fraser. It reminded me of the beginning of our year together. I had heard rumors about you all around school "he's so hot" "he has these eyes". I never wanted to believe them the first day, so I trudged through my classes just to get to yours and like I believed, there was nothing special about you.

You were like every other attractive gentlemen. Brown hair, blue eyes, built physique. I didn't like you. I did not like the way you carried yourself. With sorrow and like you had regretted your whole life.

I remember sitting at the edge of class, away from you. Everyday I grew closer to you, watching as you made casual jokes about people's appearances or gave your opinion on education. It was doing this that i fell in love with you.

 **August 1st, 2015**  
There's about a week till school and everyday I wake up scared that you won't be there. You probably had forgotten our short encounter at the store. You went to touch my hand right as your wife rolled up, baby on her chest and drool down her shoulder. I just shook your hand and retreated down the closest aisle, hiding my face from the rest of the world

I won't forget the look on your face when my skin met yours. It was so warm and rough, like your hands usually were.

 **August 10th, 2015**  
Today was the first day of school and my heart is still beating out of my chest.  
Being given my schedule I skimmed down and noticed my 5 classes.

-Intro to Statistics and Probability  
-civics/econ  
-psychology AP  
-English 12 film and literature  
And student aide. The one class I had forgotten about. And you were the one whom I asked to give it to me.

 

 **August 10th 2015 cont.**  
 I remember walking up to your classroom door, paper in hand and ready to be your TA. I pulled and the door did not budge. Your light was on and I pulled again. Nothing.

I was too shy to knock, afraid I was interrupting a class. But I did it anyways. I had no choice. You pushed the door with one hand and I recall looking up at you and smiling a little. You made no motion to smile back at me and walked away as I slid in the door.

 

You had the lights off, the projector on showing a notepad full of formulas and rules. You had a room full of bored, uneducated gnats, barely breaking into the educational and fundamental world of school. I smiled a little and tip toed across the room, ducking underneath the light from the projector and I slammed myself down in your seat, pulling my legs up to my chest and crossing them Indian style. I watched you lecture for a good 45 minutes, resting my cheek on my palm and swaying slowly side to side in your chair, smiling occasionally at you laughing at your own jokes.  
That was my favorite part of you; that no matter what anyone said about you or even if your jokes weren't funny, you always laughed and you were always yourself.  
  
  
**August 11th 2015**  
I got assigned a psychology project today. It's called "Stranger Paper." For three days, I have to follow somebody around and observe their movements, categorizing them into the "Big 6" of psychology. I picked you because you were the most interesting person I knew. I sat in your class and scribbled down notes while I sat in your chair and you stood at the front of class.  
-says "uhm" a LOT  
-khakis and stripes are definitely a favorite  
-tends to rub nose or ear when bothered with a question he's not familiar with   
-strays away from family questions most of the time  
~~-sometimes he looks at me and smiles~~  
~~-really nice dimples~~  
  
I erased the last two and scribbled in on top of the smudging:  
-switches feet occasionally and props one against the wall when he does  
-moves to get hand sanitizer every 10 minutes (clean freak?)  
-scattered diet coke bottles and cans on his desk (probably a health thing)  
  
I figured I had enough notes to maybe make a page full of you, picking out your disorders while I was at it, so I put my notebook back into my purse and crossed my arms and continued to watch you, you glancing at me and I would smile every time. Eventually, I leaned my head back and fell asleep on the back rim of your chair.  
  
**August 14th, 2015**  
Today your wife brought in your kids to visit you. Your newborn and your 2 year old daughter made me smile. You spun the oldest around and around on your finger while she giggled and almost fell to the floor. She would crawl onto your lap occasionally as you talked to your wife and you would just rub her back and kiss her on the head. I sat across the room at your desk, leaning on my hand and watching you and yearning for that to be my family. Me, sitting across from you and talking about God knows what, me, carrying your children to your work for a visit. Me, making dinner for you after you got home from work.  
  
But I was born too late. 20 years too late to be exact.  17 and 38 would never work, no matter the consequences or situation. I have spent almost over a year on you. Making sure my outfits were nice, making sure my makeup was exact, and making sure my grades were superb. It did work, I will give myself that.   
  
You kissed me once, with complete passion but a morsel of regret I could taste when you were done. I was the one who pulled away, only because we were interrupted by something else. I've always thought that maybe it was for the best. Who knows how far we would've gone? I don't even like to think about that because I can feel the turmoil in my stomach at the thought of you inside me; touching me, kissing me and saying my name instead of hers.  
  
I realized this today. But no matter what, I will be your friend. I will never forget what kind of a teacher you were, what kind of a person you were and I will never forget the hell you put me through.  
  
I have one more year with you and I will make it the best.


End file.
